Back in the day, the coolest thing ever was the USB Humping Dog. What did it do? You stuck it in your USB port and it… that being said, it bumped your PC, much like a loving male puppy is wont to do. We’re past such adolescent diversion (on most days), however we needed a fun toy to use at the workplace.
Show your affection for Cthulhu (or simply octopuses or kraken) with the USB Squirming Tentacle. Basically connect it to your USB port and it will fill your workstation with unspeakable shades of malice. Simply joking, it doesn't store any information. (Simply malevolent.) The USB Squirming Tentacle will draw a little measure of force from your PC, empowering it to squirm and wiggle like an Elder God attempting to escape your portable computer.